Forgiveness......

Forgiveness, always an interesting and trying topic in our lives as it relates to us forgiving others. God is clear in HIS instructions and that is to "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." This passage from Matthew 6:6-13 tells us to ask God to forgive us as or like, in the same manner as we forgive others. This can become very challenging if forgiveness is not viewed in the right manner and not understood correctly. To say that someones wrong doing to you is "not a problem" or "you have moved on" does not constitute forgiveness. It merely means that you would like to move on however the question is if you have not really forgiven them, can you move on? Can you continue to walk in life without any bitterness to hinder your walk? Can you truly expect God to forgive you if you haven't done so to others?

As a youth I have done many things that have put me in very difficult situations and circumstances. The price I have had to pay for the choices I made have been great and caused a lot of pain in my life. I am the first to admit my wrongs and the first to say I know the consequences I have encountered are do to those choices. I have learned through those choices that I not only hurt myself and my future but I also hurt other friends and family as well. Some to great extent. I have done things as a child to my parents, siblings, friends, and myself that have caused them to question me and for me to question myself. Most of the things that I have done are things that they never even knew of but because of the actions I have done in private from them, it caused me to become a certain way and the result of who I became directly affected them in many ways. My actions caused them to take actions towards me as well and caused an even greater, negative outcome. What I have discovered is that those actions I took as a child caused so much pain to so many and in turn caused me to be hurt that it took years to start the forgiving process in my life, starting with me. It was not until I forgave myself that I could really begin to forgive others. I took responsibility for my actions and knew I was wrong but I made the choices and being angry with myself forever was not going to begin the healing process for me. It would not allow me to become the man God has called me to be if I did not move on. That moving on process started with me forgiving me. Scripture tells us in Matthew 22:39 "and the second (commandment) is you shall love your neighbor as yourself." This simply means that you have to love yourself before you can love your neighbor and to love yourself means to love yourself enough to forgive yourself of the wrongs. Once you love yourself enough to forgive, you can love your neighbor enough to forgive as well.

So for years I spent time forgiving myself of my wrongs and even though a lot of what I did may have been the cause for others to act out towards me, I had to ask for their forgiveness and forgive them as well. It was not until then that I could release the anger and hate I felt inside and become free to be what God has called me to be. In this process, I have also learned that it may take others longer to forgive and move on from the past. It may not be a process they are ready to walk through and this can cause some disconnect. Many times, people do not want to accept who you have become or may have trouble with doing so. Many will continue to see who you "used" to be and never regard who God has turned you in to. Sometimes, they may not believe you have really repented for your sins and have really made that change in your life. When this challenge faces you, how you navigate through it can give you victory or set you back and create bigger issues in your life. We often spend time trying to "convince" others who we are and how we have changed. The problem with trying to convince is you look for an immediate change of belief and since we don't change "overnight" it should not be expected that someone will change their beliefs overnight either. In those same regards, those who should forgive you should trust in God that the change is real and forgive you for what you have done in the past for their own process. Often, people do not forgive others for the past because they judge the present and future based on the past and that can hinder them from growing as well.

Forgiveness is a process and we have to learn how to forgive correctly and that starts with forgiving yourself. Once you forgive others you can no longer hold the past over them, you have to respect them for who they are now, and believe the future will only be better. Forgiving someone releases you and them. When you ask for forgiveness, it tells the other that you want them to know that YOU know you were wrong. This can restore relationships, friends, and families. This is what God intends for us, to be restored and have those relationships. Start the process if there is someone you need to forgive or someone you need to ask for forgiveness. Once you start the process, watch God work and be blessed!!