Sunday, October 19, 2008

Seven Years Later....

Psalm 66:5 Come and see what our God has done,what awesome miracles he performs for people!

Today, October 19th, we spent the day celebrating my sons 7th birthday. Now to most, this is something we all do with our families and friends on regular basis, so it seems that is really nothing to get caught up in and we should just prepare for the next and the next...etc..etc.. This may very well be true, however this day was a special special day in my life and the life of all those affected by the birth and life of my son.
Seven years ago, on October 9th, we were told after arriving at the hospital with complications with the pregnancy that we would have to stay at the hospital and they would try to keep my son from being born at this time. The reason? He was not due until January 16th (give or take a few days) For two weeks, we were instructed to pray for the best and prepare for the worst. As time progressed and we realized we would have to go ahead and deliver him, we were told he would not make it. He was too little and his lungs had not developed enough, even with help. October 19th at 7:01am...time stood still as he was born and rushed off to the specialists to try and do what they could. After about 1 month in a place they keep pre mature babies, the doctor came to me and explained to me how when pre mature babies are born, they stop growing for a period of time because they do not have the resources to help them grow and develop. He explained to me this process and continued by telling me that he is not sure how or why, but (quote) "your son has not stopped growing since he was born." Now at this time, I was so mad at God and so un in love with God I had no idea what He was doing. My only talk with God was to just save my son and I would be alright. I wanted God to leave me alone. Just save my son. For the next two months, my son grew and grew strong and was ready to come home. What an exciting day!!
At the 4 month mark, with life getting on as usual....the ball dropped. One morning, my son started to have a seizure and was rushed back to the hospital. Once we arrived at the hospital, we were told that at no point would he wake up and (quote) "he will not make it, we will do everything we can, but he will not make it. There was too much damage from the seizure." 3 days later, he woke up. 3 weeks later he came home. Again. Now, we understood his life would be a little different with the damage from the seizure, but God had done what was asked. Even from someone who was mad at Him and wanted nothing to do with Him.
Over the next 6 and a half years, I have watched my son push through and accomplish things he should not be able to do, according to the past instructions. I have watched him grow and become a young man who absolutely loves life and loves his family. I have watched him study people and do what they were doing and not stop until he does it just like they did. We have been instructed by doctors that his abilities will be limited at times and he will not develop at the rate of any normal child and put him as a special needs child. Through the years, as a father, it has been so hard to deal with those words..."special needs" because of all the dreams I have for my children and all the things I want them to accomplish. It has been hard to receive and even angered me at times because when I look at my son, I don't see special needs...I see my hero. I see a young man who WANTS to do all the things the other kids do and does. I see a young man who speaks to his family and tells them what he wants and doesn't want and when he wants it. I see a young man who learns daily how to operate through life and does not think of any difference that may exist between him and other kids. I see a young man who has changed the lives of so many around him from family to friends and beyond. He has brought people together and made so many smile with his amazing smile. I remember a few years ago at church as I was walking up the parking lot in to church, I was approached by a lady who introduced herself and her family and told me that my son is so amazing, she said (quote) "there is something about your son that just makes people flock to him and want to see him and touch him. He is so beautiful and there is just something about him that draws others." After hearing this, I took a moment to reflect and in church I sat and prayed to God for what He had done...despite my ignorance that cost me greatly. God let me know that when he was born, he didn't stop growing because God kept him growing and after the seizure, God kept my son sleeping for 3 days to talk to him. Ever since....my son has grown in ways that he was not suppose to. He plays basketball, football, volleyball (like his big sister) and baseball. He loves to fish and ride four wheelers and play with all his cousins. He loves to read and watch movies and play with his family all the time. He is a clown and shows that every day. He loves to be outside and helps with chores and cleanup. He loves life, and he is his daddy's hero in so many ways.

Seven years ago, we were told that none of this would happen, that we should prepare for the worst. Seven years ago, when I walked away from God, God walk to me through my son. Seven years ago, this birthday party we celebrated today was never suppose to happen...but it did. Seven years ago, I, as a father, cried out of fear for what I was not sure of...today...after the party....I cried for what I know and will never forget. The scripture at the top refers to the miracles God does and every day when I look at my son..I am reminded of those miracles and the miracle He did with him. Seven represents completion in biblical terms and today starts year number 8 which represents new beginnings. My sons life is in God's hands and I have never been more thankful for that. See, there is something about my son, something amazing, something that no one can explain that draws people to him. Seven years ago his birth brought so many people together, praying, believing, and encouraging. Seven years later, those same people were brought together today to see their prayers answered, their believing brought to pass and the encouragement they now have when they see what God has done for my son.

Never doubt, with all the troubles you may endure, and all the hardships you go through, what God can and will do. Prayer, believing, and encouragement goes along way, and God's word will always show Himself to be faithful. If you ever get to see my son, know that you are seeing a miracle and remember that God is able. What He did for my son, He will also do for you. If I am bragging...it is because not only am I so proud of my son, I am more proud that God loves me and my son that much.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Can You.....?

Can You…..?
By Jeffrey Regge

Do you here that…
The hushed whisper of the past
Do you hear that?
The silence of the years of struggle never seeming to end
Do you hear that?
The endless cries of past pains
The screams of the silent..now heard
Do you hear that?
Do you feel it?
Do you feel the past coming full circle for us to look face to face with the dreams
The Dream screamed from the hills of the mountains that never seem to move
Do you feel it?
The pain felt by hundreds of thousands, millions of Americans slain in hate
Killed by the hands of those they would soon join
Do you feel it?
The words, the actions, the thoughts, the ideas, the desires, the requests, the hopes
Hope
Do you hear the feeling of the past Americans that have brought us to this point seemed to far to attain
The blood of those who shed it to lay the path for us to take
The tears that filled the rivers of hope that allowed us to flow along to a better place then they
The screams that are carried, still, in the wind, that whistles by our ears to remind us to never forget….never forget
So many years and so many deaths to bring us to a place in history never seen before and a time that will cause us to stand still
Allowing every breath breathed to witness the beginning of the results that began years ago by a people that were not suppose to create change
This moment in time is a result of the protests, marches, walk outs, stand ins, sit ins, street preaching, dream having, visionary believers of the past that positioned themselves to allow us to stand on their shoulders to continue to achieve things even greater.
Here we are….
Standing before the dawn of a new day in history
Have we forgot?
Have we moved past?
Have we pushed aside the pictures, movies and the scars that we see and feel that remind us how special this moment really is…
This moment that can never be duplicated and surely not over looked..
This moment where we have the opportunity to elect for our next President of the United States of America
The first African American man put in this position to win
As we watch his speeches
We can’t help but get the chills
As we witness him debate on the highest of levels
We can’t help but stand up with pride
As we become apart of this historic event
We can’t help but think of the endless possibilities.
Barack Obama is standing on the shoulders of those before him
The shoulders of those that died, that stepped up in the battle for equality and rights
Those that fought endlessly to end segregation
Those who bled to save the lives of others worse off
Obama stands on the shoulders of those who made it possible for equal education
Those who made it possible for the employment of Blacks
Those who made it possible for Blacks and woman to vote
Those who made it possible for Blacks to have a voice and for it to make impacts
He stands on those shoulders and is positioning himself for others to follow to stand on his shoulders as well.
Those same shoulders are the shoulders we stand on
The same shoulders that made it possible for us to have our voice heard and our votes count
The same shoulders that made it possible for us to debate the facts and push to fulfill the dreams
We have a chance to create history and it comes at a time when America is ready and in need
It comes at a time when the voices are being heard
The cries have not been forgotten
The screams are being heard by the passing wind
The blood shed is being resurrected in strength and passion
The opportunity to continue the push is upon us
We must not forget
We can’t forget
This moment has been far too long
Far too painful to achieve
But achieve we have….we have just started
We have just opened the door
Stand tall on those shoulders….breathe in the freshness of the past
Breathe in the pain of the past
Breathe in the cries of the past
Breathe in the dreams of the past
The time is now..
Can you hear it?
Can you feel it?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Love is Always First...

As a parent, there are so many challenges we face when it comes to raising our kids. Our goal as parents is hopefully to give our kids a head start in life and place them in a position ahead of where we started to continue an upward climb. We, at times, try hard to protect our children and keep them from the dangers of the world and guide them safely to a better outcome. Sometimes, the obstacles that our children endure, unfortunately come from our own failures and shortcomings. These downsides do affect our children greatly and sometimes we miss it and don't either pay attention, or dismiss it as "life."




As a child growing up, there are so many things in my past I could point to as the reason or a contributing reason as to why I have gone through some of the challenges I have and for some of the failures I have experienced as a parent. I could create a dynamic case as to why I have had so many shortcomings and that my experiences have lacked an example of what a parent should be like. Not even in the slightest of ways. Even now, when it comes to situations that arise with my children, and not knowing how to address it, going to my parents is not an option for advice. I am sure many can relate. I have been a product of a divorced household as a child, thus creating a changed dynamic to my childhood and my future. Again, so many things I could point to and would justify my previous actions and processes. Now, as a parent, I have done what I feared the most and made my children products of that same divorced household. These are just some of the obstacles we create for our children in our efforts to protect them. Unlike my parents, I, as the father take full responsibility for the fall of my previous marriage. It was not a matter of what I did wrong, it was more so what I did not do right. I lost my battle. Watching my kids through it and since has been a painful experience that I have endured but nothing compared to what they have gone through. Divorce creates so many "other" obstacles for our children and a single family home, even if never married does the same.




Now remarried and trying to establish a foundation for my children, the process has started to make every effort to help heal the pain that was caused. My wife and I had a conversation the other night and we were talking about how God heals us. She talked about a Pastor she heard speak about how when God heals, we will be left with scars to remind us. I quoted a scripture in the Book of Isaiah, 43:25 where God says "I am He that forgives and forgets all sins". To know this scripture is to know that there are no limits to Gods ability. We started to talk about this healing God provides. Do you have scars at times? Yes, you may, but do not limit God's ability to heal and erase. The scripture tells us He forgives and Forgets. To forget is to not have memory or recollection of what happened. Thus not having scars as reminders. In that, I look at my past and the events that have happened and I have some scars for some things and no scars for others. Now because we are not God, we may not be able to forget, but when what happened does not direct your actions going forward, it has been removed. As I watch my kids, I pray daily that I am able to help them get rid of the scars. In talking with my daughter the other day, I shared with her that I know I have not always been the best or done the best as a daddy but everything I do is with her and her brother in mind. I have tried to be the father I didn't have, and be a husband I never witnessed. In that conversation, I truly believe my daughter understood. As my wife and I talked about parenting and what to do to help my children in certain areas as it relates to study habits and helping my daughter with school, I became frustrated. I told my wife that I don't know how to create the environment needed to nurture a healthy study environment that can help her study and encourage a good work ethic. My experience as a child was a do or die situation and I wanted to be the best. I have placed my children in a place where it is not do or die but help is always right there. How do we create something for our children when we don't have experience to fall back on? This is the dilemma of parents every where. How do we avoid creating more obstacles for our children then they already have to endure? How do we mend the scars and re-establish the path we all want for our children?







Simply put, God. As parents we try so many other outlets to find answers and solutions to our problems and situations. God is the creator of all things, and the foundation that parenting is built upon. He loves us without regard to what we do wrong or how far we stray. He is always there and allows us to come to Him no matter what. This is our example on how to be with our children. Love them with out regard to what they do or how often they do it. Going to God for help has changed my whole outlook on parenting and I believe has started the healing process of my scar in that area. I hear so often about parents abusing their kids and the kids who get left for dead, or killed by their parents and I can not understand for the life of me how this could happen. When I physically discipline my children, I get physically ill and hurt because of the pain, fear, and hurt I know they feel. Remember as a child when you were physically disciplined? For that moment, you did not have control of what happened to you. Imagine now as an adult not having control of what is happening to you physically and imagine how a defenseless child feels. When I discipline my children, I take about 10 minutes to re group and go back to them to hold them and talk to them. The discipline may lack effect, but I have to let them know love is first.







So as parents, when we get to that place where challenges knock us off our paths and we realize we don't have the answer to solve the issue, go to God. He will provide the answer, He will create the environment needed to nurture the growth we need. He will also remind us that when we failed Him, He disciplined us, but immediately came back to us to embrace us to show us that love is always first.

Are you Ready for Change?...

In less than one month, voters will go to the polls to cast their vote for the next President of the United States of America. Over the past year plus...we have seen the candidates go back and forth, submit their ideas and plans for a better America and how they would conduct their administration if they were elected by the people. In looking at these two candidates, Sen. John McCain and Sen. Barack Obama, you find a tremendous difference in the character and history of these two and you see the obvious differences. In Sen. McCain is an older, white, upper class citizen and Sen. Obama is a younger, black, upper class citizen. These are the obvious and I am sure you are wondering what is the point I am trying to make. I am so glad you asked.....I will try to answer.

The not so obvious picture these two candidates represent is this....Sen. McCain is from an older generation of whites that have a certain and specific value system and tend to, by facts and history, not like change. He represents a class of Americans that are what we call..."Old School" and tend to follow the status quo. Sen. Obama represents a younger generation of Americans who like to challenge the status quo and he doesn't just represent the Black Americans some would expect. He represents an America that is pushing towards the future. Younger Americans that challenge and change the "same ol' " traditions that tend to get....well...old. Most of us don't like change but yet we know change is good and important. One of the things as a Christian that is greatly important is what the scripture says about change. In 2 Corinthians it states that "once you are in Christ, you are a new creation" meaning you have changed, it is required to walk with Christ. In America it is required to change to keep up, to stay in competition with the world and it is required to reflect the society that is being served. Sen. Obama represents a great shift in our Country that is taking place even now. Our country has been a "white majority" country since the beginning and the population shift has been taking place for years. In the next 15-20 years, the population will change and whites will not be the majority any longer. With this shift, it creates automatic change in our society and the needs of our country. Does this mean that we HAVE to elect Sen. Obama just because of our changing country...no, of course not. What it does mean is that it is required change that is going to happen sooner or later. We have a tendency to try and push things to the limit. For example, our economy. We ignored it until this point and it is harder now to fix then it would have been 6 years ago. Global Warming is an issue and if we keep ignoring it, it will become harder to fix and more costly. Electing Sen. Obama is another opportunity we have to get it right up front and not wait until it is more costly and a greater challenge in the future. The cost of not electing him is too great and the wonderful thing is it has nothing to do with his race and every thing to do with his policies and plans. So in this election, you have a win win situation. He represents the change we are all facing and supporters of McCain and the generations he represents are, in most ways, scared of that change. Scared of some thing new, scared of what they do not know. Media has done an amazing job and creating the perception that all blacks care about is sex, music, sports, and crime. They have been extremely successful in getting this image out there and creating the fear of an "angry black man" or black women. The sound bites and the pictures all paint a picture of trouble. The news reports daily of missing white children and the details of criminal activities of sports figures and musicians who happen to be all black in the news flashes. They exhaust money on endless stories of the abductions of white woman and children from across our country and parade the stories of O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick, the Janet Jackson Super Bowl "show" and many other stories like this. Poor white America and bad bad Black America. The media is so quick to call out a political figure or anyone for using the "race card" when the media has pulled that card and left it out in use for years. The latest is the V.P. Debate that took place last Thursday and wanting to ban the facilitator (an African America woman) because she has wrote a book about the historic events to include Sen. Obama's run for President saying she would be bias to the Democratic party in lieu of her book. If it was a white commentator, would this be a story? Does the movie out about President Bush influence our society to feel sorry for him and the party and submit a pity vote? Either way, it is up to America to sort through the rhetoric and see the truth. There is a change taking place in our Country and it is time to except that change. Do we follow our past and go against this change, continue to follow the status quo and avoid what we don't understand or know out of fear? Or do we embrace this change and except it and follow the flow of our country and where we are going. Do we elect someone who represents the future of our country and represent the generations that will carry us in to that great future. Where we are going in our future of change is far better than where we have been or where we are now. We are a country of people who believe in a greater purpose, a greater cause. We question the very foundation we stand on as a country, but those questions are not to knock our past, but to ensure the foundation we stand on will stand strong in our future of certain change and will carry us through the transition.

No matter who you vote for, please vote. Too many people have died as a price to gain the right we all have. Do not let their deaths be empty, rather a representation of the "change" that needed to and did take place. Change!!