A Father's Prayer......

I remember the day my daughter was born as if it was yesterday. May 8th, 1996 at 10:01pm. Never in my life have I felt so much excitement combined with so much fear all in one. I waited all day at the hospital since arriving at 845am for this moment. My journey to this point wasn't your typical journey and one that shows the lack of maturity I had at that time. As I held my daughter for the first time, I remember signing to her softly as I walked back and forth in the room. She stared at me the whole time, taking in her new surroundings and this new face. As she stared at me, I began to pray a prayer that only a father could pray, and ever since that day, I have continued to pray that same prayer.

God, thank you so much for this gift you have given to me when I know I am not worthy or even ready in the way I know. Thank you for allowing me to hold my child in my arms and talk to YOU about her. I have no idea God what to do, my examples of parenting on earth have not been the examples I wish to follow but I believe God you will show me what to do and how to do it. This beautiful, amazing little girl is going to look to me for everything and I hold that responsibility as an honor and privilege and will be the type of father that is a praise to You. You have blessed me with an angel that will drive me to make the changes I need to make and be the man I need to be, more so the man You have called me to be. Thank you for my daughter, thank You for blessing me with a chance to start a better future. I will provide for her at all costs and love her greater than any one person could ever love another. I know I did not do this according to your will and plan and I am sorry for that, please forgive me for failing You but God please don't punish my daughter for my failures, I will except the burden and carry that cross for it is my fault. God she is so beautiful and You have seen fit for me to be her daddy. The man she will always look to in trouble, the man who has to remind her how important and valued she is before any one else. The man who will be the example of who she is to look for in a husband. Yes God, that is it. I am not now, but I will be that example of the type of man she should marry and settle for nothing less. Thank you God for her, thank you God...I love You so much and I love this little girl, my daughter so much and I don't even know how to express it all. I will not let you down God, I will step up, I will be a great daddy. Thank you...AMEN.

For years I have said that prayer, and for years to come I will continue to say it. As a Father, there are so many fears that fill me when it comes to my children. I am not a father who sits back and lets other do what it is I am suppose to do. I am not a father who will allow others to come at my children when I am there to protect them. This prayer has been modified for my son when he was born as well, and will continue to be for any new children God allows me to gain. I have still not done it all according to His will and plan, but He is such an amazing God, He forgives me and loves me anyways. To watch my children daily is a constant reminder of how great God is and how blessed I am to be a daddy. As my daughter has grown, our relationship has as well. We have faced challenges and overcome the obstacles. The thing that amazes me the most with both her and my son is the love we share and the bond that can never be broken. As a father, so many stresses can overcome our lives and bring us to our knees. I have learned that is exactly where God wants us, to submit it all to Him and let Him take care of the challenges we can not take. As parents, we should always be praying that regardless of our parents or lack of. Regardless of how good we have had it growing up or how much we suffered growing up. Regardless of our failed past and challenging future, we should all pray and walk out being the best parents we can be. That means so much more than anything else. How do we be better parents? By raising our kids. Not allowing society to raise them. Not leaving them to the T.V. to be raised or depending on our government to create a better home for us. Make better decisions and whatever choices you have to make, it should never be your child that suffers because of it. I have made some terrible choices and suffered dearly for it, but with all of my ability I have tried to keep my children from it. We have to want to be the type of father our daughters want to marry or the type of father and man our sons want to be. Are you? What do you do to make sure you are?

As my daughter closes in on her teenage years, at night while she goes to sleep, I still go in to her room and put my arms around her like the night she was born and hold her close to me. (of course she moves around a bit as it interrupts her sleep) I hold her and whisper in her ear. Sometimes I whisper the prayer, sometimes I whisper a song. Sometimes I whisper how much daddy loves her and adores her and I thank God for her. I give her a kiss on her forehead and do the same with my son. As I walk out of the room, I smile, remembering at the same time the night and morning they were born and the responsibility I have as a father and I feel joy in my heart for the honor and privilege it is to raise my 2 amazing gifts from God. A fathers prayer has a love like no other and a strength that can not be shaken. I hope that in the end, I am the father I prayed I would be and they and any future children can look back and say that they had the best daddy ever. To God be the Glory!!